Thursday, November 10, 2011

Keepin it Real

Alright folks. As much as I love posting about the joys of my life and how great things are, I live a real life where, let's face it, things aren't always so great.

It doesn't get much realer than what I'm about to post...

I didn't pass my BCBA boards.

To know it is one thing, but to write it for the whole bloggy world to read is another. My ego kinda needs one of these.

The worst part about failing? I missed it by 12 points. 12 freakin points. If I'm gonna fail I'd rather it be by 100. Knowing I was so close, this close, sucks.

Apparently, I chose the hardest testing period to take it in considering the passing rate was 46%. 46. In the past it has been around 70%.

The weirdest thing? I was fine all day except when I had to tell J. For some reason telling him made it seem so real. This was something we both wanted so badly. Can I just say...I've never wanted something so badly in my life.

The worst part? Not really the studying and re-taking it (although lets face it, I'm not exactly thrilled), but I'll have to wait for what seems like an enternity again for the results.

The silver lining? I have great bosses and co-workers who are supporting and encouraging me as I get ready to retake it in January.
So what's next? I'm going to think positively, start studying now, and lock myself in the library the entire week before the test.

And if I start to feel sorry for myself I'll remember it could always be worse.

3 comments on "Keepin it Real"
  1. I love you and I will help you study if you want. You are going to kick the test's ass in January. No mercy.

  2. Darn that test! I heard that passing percentage - that's insane! I am so proud of you for taking it and even prouder for not giving up and taking it again! I'm pretty sure that will make you a doubly good BCBA for having to do it twice!

  3. I'm sorry to hear that. :( I've always admired your work ethic and the fact that you have way more will power and discipline than I ever will. You will pass in Jan, I'm sure.