Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Largest & Longest Anxiety Attack Ever

AKA Motherhood.

We all know the joys of Motherhood. The unconditional love, the snuggles, smiles, I love you's, and the list goes on and on.

We also know how hard being a mom can be. There's the sheer physical exhaustion, especially when they're itty bitty and not yet sleeping through the night. And of course the mental exhaustion where you've made list after list, read Brown Bear Brown Bear 1,000 times, and tried to remember when the last time they pooped, ate, or slept was.

Things change as they get older and you worry less about whether they've popped and more about  what kind of person they are becoming.

With a 5 year old and a 14 month old, I experience a wide range of motherhood difficulties. For me though, hands down, raising a 5 year old is SO much harder than the "baby." 

Lately I've felt so much anxiety about all that comes with raising these little people. You know what doesn't help this anxiety? Watching Locked Up: Juvenile Detention. Turn the channel immediately. 

Ben has such a sweet, kind heart. He's also extremely funny. He's easily upset when things don't seem fair and he has lots of opinions and is very strong willed. And without a doubt he is all boy. And while all these things are great, they are also scary. I struggle to support his opinions and validate his feelings all the while still trying to teach him right from wrong. I want to encourage his goofy, funny, free spirited side, while also teaching that there will be many times when you have to do things you don't want to do. 

Being frustrated at your child and trying to teach them in that moment without loosing your sh*t is hard. There are days I'm a rockstar and days I've thrown a bigger fit than both my boys combined. We have days where Ben apologizes and days where I apologize, and sometimes both. 

Parenting isn't a passive thing. It causes me lots of worry. Should I be doing more? What should I be doing? What's the magical formula for raising another little person? 

I didn't write this to have a pity party for myself or because I want people to tell me what a great mom I am. I wrote this because I feel like not enough people do. People are afraid to admit just how hard this mothering thing can be. But, it is. And deep down, all you moms out there know this. 

And even though they cause me lots of anxiety and worry, I'm so thankful for my sweet boys. We're all on this great adventure together and I'll continue to pray that when they're ready to go out on their own, I've prepared them well. 

If you haven't already, check out Chelsea's blog. She's refreshingly honest and open about motherhood and pretty darn funny too.

This post has been going around Facebook lately and it's one of the most brutally honest confessions about motherhood. It also happens to have a few curse words:)

And because no post is complete without a picture.

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Linking up with Annie!

2 comments on "The Largest & Longest Anxiety Attack Ever "
  1. I hear you re: the 5 year old being more responsibility.. They're like little sponges and little people that we have to mould into human beings. Such a herculean and awesome responsibility..

    1. Very awesome and very scary:) Thanks for stopping by:)